8 9 10

Laundry, check.
Packing, check.
Is this really happening, i mean i knew it was coming but it just seams all so soon if i stop and think about it. Tomorrow, my plan is to leave the house in the morning and go to work as usual, except when i return 'home' it will be to pack up my bare necessities into Toby's truck. A desk, my computer, some clothes and Linens. I have that nervous feeling in my stomach again, i know i should be eating a meal right now but the hunger feeling is being replaced with eating my emotions. I'm trying to be strong, well i know i AM being strong, and i don't wanna cry. I'm happy to be getting out of this situation. A lot has happened in the last two weeks. Just in the laundry mat today i was thinking the walk over was weird, i knew something bad was coming because me and Mark were silent. Then he broke the news to me, he wanted to break up, he said there in the laundry mat. So now two weeks later, doing mine and his laundry, i just feel eerie, and lost. I don't know how we will react when he gets home from school. I wanna hold him so tight, and kiss him and not let go. He looks like an angel sleeping at night, i just want to hold him forever, squeezing tight. I guess this is what has to happen. When i realize that neither one of us can control the future as tragic as it sounds. It gives me comfort to know that my maturity allows me to see that its not a situation against me. I am not a victim of any kind, except perhaps to the hands of time. I'm scared because this is a leap of faith, and i am a few steps behind. I have barely a couple hundred dollars to my name. But i have a paid room in a apartment in Brooklyn for one whole month.
In this amount of time, my goal is to re-Aline my head into a only positive projection. I will meditate instead of stimulate. I will research and Boogie.. .
tb con.